Okay so, almost 3 years ago I began experiencing a strange attraction to someone that confused the hell out of me. It was not romantic or sexual or anything like that. Whenever I thought of this person I would get this rush in my chest and I would think about them all the time!! These feelings confused me because I didn’t understand what I wanted from this person (who btw I didn’t know very well, barely knew them actually.) a few months later ( I should say that I only saw this person maybe like 5 or 6 times after I first saw them and all times didn’t last long) my feelings were so intense but not of romantic nature, but they started developing as romantic feelings, but nothing triggered that cause I don’t think I even saw them. With this change I was trying to cope with these feelings (I never felt so strongly about anyone like this before) even before the feelings got romantic they were so intense and strong that I didn’t even understand them. So, after seeing them for the last time, these feelings persisted.
i kept trying to forget them and make myself busy with other things because nothing can ever happen. These feelings stayed with me for maybe 8 months. I started to forget them slowly and not think of them much because I started a new career so I managed to get myself a bit busy but sometimes they always remained in the back of my head. Because I never felt this way about anyone (still to this day actually) I would also sometimes compare other people to them and small things would remind me of them (I knew this person very little)
But like mainly over the years I thought way less of them and they were not taking over my life as before but if someone mentions them or I see something that relates to them, I get this feeling of yearning or longing. Then, end of October this year, I started having these feelings again and thinking about them constantly till this day actually. Nothing triggered this and I haven’t seen this person since I last saw them almost 3 years ago.
I also feel like I can’t love them because I don’t know them well enough but I have this feeling that I have so much love FOR them!
So, I’m confused and honestly just plain tired!!! it's exhausting that I can't seem to shake them off!! And would love some insight!
I thought this might be infatuation, but can infatuation last that long?
Are we karmically connected or something? Why I think that? —> because after meeting them I began getting into spirituality and I feel like we have a connection somehow and well also because I’m struggling to get them out of my mind but then again that happens to everyone with crushes so idk
Or could it be that thing where people say that you’re thinking of them because they’re thinking of you..
I’m also very into spirituality now and I grew a lot and learned a lot of stuff and I feel like I owe it all to this person, not because we talked about it or anything but because meeting them opened the floodgates to me learning about this stuff.
What do you guys think? is this something spiritual or am I just being dramatic?