Juna
Member
09/06/09 04:08 AM
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 dream and a question
Post: #111032 | | |
Hey there,
I wanted to share this dream on this forum, because I noticed something.. odd. Maybe it is crazy, just tell me if it is. Thats ok.
To explain what I mean, I have to explain in which way I fel asleep before having the dream. (its morning now over here)
When I decided to go to sleep, and turned off the lights, I lay on my back and started in the dark. I suddenly remembered, very very strongly the death of my cat. This happened this year, I burried her myself.
I cannot explain how close I was with this cat, it was amazing.. simply amazing. The connection that we had made my childhood something I could bear. But I cannot explain, with words, what it was like. So I will just say that I loved her very very much, and she loved me as well. For 15 years, starting when I was 10.
So I remembered her death and suddely the pain of this was there very much and I cried. In this dept of pain I tried to connect with what she truly was, and I tried to remember her spirit. Then it was, that I decided that a spirit like her, cannot die. I also saw, suddenly, that her spirit was great and beautiful, it was in a cats body, but it was no less then any other kind of spirit. And even more, a guiding spirit, an angel even maybe. I really believe that this is possible. So I started talking to her, hoping, that all of it meant that I could.
I explained to her all I wanted to explain to her, mostly that I loved her very much and felt so extremely thankful for what she had shared with me. In the end, I also asked her, to come into my dreams. And maybe, if she wanted.. to come back to me on earth. Only if she wanted, and only if she was sure that we would be together.
Then I fell asleep.
I was pregnant in my dream.
I went in labour, and a child was born, a girl.
She was beautiful, and I loved her.
When I held her to my chest, with her little head close to mine, I cherished that closeness just so much..
I started to remember that I did not recall anything from me giving birth to her. Only the first start. A friendly medical man had guided me, someone I really liked. I felt like I was in genuine good hands with him.
But I did not remember more then that, and asked my mother if my afterbirth had taken place. She said she did not know and send me to that man to ask.
A woman went with me and guided me to where he might be. I thought she would know all the doctors and point to me his face, somehow I had also forgotten that. But she did not, she asked 'have you seen him already?'. I started saying that I did not remember his face but the moment I started, I saw him.
I pointed, and we went there. Then she left.
I told him that I was afraid that the placenta was still in me, but he smiled and said that he 'always' made sure that everything came out. It was just fine he said.
I again liked him a lot and remembered his genuine gentle ways of guiding me into labour. I thanked him.
While I walked back I wished I could know him better.
Then I was at home, I woke up from sleep and then stood up to see my girl. I was in the room that I had when I lived in my mothers house. The baby girl was in there too.
I again picked her up and carried her to my heart/chest and just cherished this amazing love that I was holding.
I did not remember the moment in which I had decided to let the pregnancy go on instead of stopping it months ago. But I was happy that I had not.
---
In life (not dream) I more or less suspect, that I am pregnant.. it might be.
I cannot test it yet, in a couple of days I can.
But.. I am single and made love with a person that I deeply love but he lives on the other side of the world.
I do not have money, I cannot hold a job.
Having a child would mean that I would have to work fulltime and put the child in a daycare.. I have 'always' promised myself I would 'never' do that. Because I worked in some daycare places myself. When I had no choice. And those over here are so far from being like a loving, warm home. It feels wrong to put a little child there, where it is shaped by the daycare, instead of a mothers + fathers heart.
In a way,.. maybe it is very crazy,. but in a way I connected this dream with my possible pregnancy. As if it tells me something like 'you can choose to let me come to you if you want'.
What do the people here think of something like that?Edited by Juna on 09/06/09 04:10 AM.
| Daje
Member
09/08/09 12:27 PM
Posts: 2496
Location: Schleswig-Holstein, Germany
Member since: 03/19/03 05:26 PM
Last online: 09/01/10 12:28 PM
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Re: dream and a question
Post: #111044 / Re: Juna #111032 | | |
Hi Juna,
Ask yourself:
If the circumstances were perfect what would you do? How would you decide? Circumstances can change, so don't decide because of some cannot's and will not's.
If you truely want that baby then focus on that, rather than thinking why it can't work. Doors open when we make a decision and go for what we have decided. Maybe you will find a nice "grandmother" in the neighborhood that will look after the baby (while you are at work)... etc.
Namasté,
Stefanie
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