Spiritual Development Thread views: 386
Holly
Member
04/17/17 06:56 PM


Posts: 30
Location: United Kingdom
Member since: 12/22/13 04:58 AM
Last online: 06/01/17 04:01 PM
Negative Reinforcement
Post: #126120
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I don't know where to put this. Am I in the right section?

I've realised in the last couple of days how harmful negative reinforcement is to my spiritual process. Really because it makes me unhappy.

There's this social rule, I find. You do something that someone doesn't like so they have a go at you. To try and make you feel as bad as they do so you'll remember and not upset them again. It sort of feels like control to me. Like the offended party is really, secretly thinking...I must control this person by negative reinforcement, to train them not to make me feel powerless again. It's a very blamey thing, too. It's how you train dogs and children if you're really, really bad at training LOL! (It's a terrible way to train anything.)

Sometimes I've found myself in environments where I'm just getting verbally, energetically, spiritually slapped about, punished for doing things other people don't like. And the worst of it is that some of those people claim to be very spiritual individuals, who all the same treat others like dirt. They really only think about themselves and how they feel, and they use a lot of negative reinforcement techniques to keep you under control without wondering (or caring!) if it's damaging to your emotional state, confidence or energy.

This has happened to me twice today. The first time, the one witness who saw it seemed very surprised that I took umbridge at being told off like a child. I'm 30, btw ;) Of course I took umbridge LOL!

I think negative reinforcement should be outlawed LOL! It's not, IMO, even close to the "way of love." It drives people inside, drives them deeper and makes them hide themselves, makes them feel shame and keep secrets about what they really want, etc. It also harms minds, and hurt minds don't open for spiritual experiences the same way happy minds do. Isn't that the opposite of spirituality?? I think it might be one of the most spiritually damaging practises I've ever encountered and what really depresss me is that I've been hanging out with spiritual people who do it all the time! Like it's normal!

Am I the only one who finds it wholly offensive and just..well. Unacceptable really? I mean I'm not saying don't have an opinion on others or anything. Everyone is entitled to an opinion. Just...don't knock people down all the time, don't punish them as if they should please only YOUR whim and do what YOU want them to do. It's cruel. Surely?



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Karuppan
Member
05/16/17 00:51 AM


Posts: 35
Location: Karnataka, India
Member since: 07/27/10 05:40 PM
Last online: 11/20/17 03:55 AM
Re: Negative Reinforcement
Post: #126443 / Re: Holly #126120
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It is cruel, and it is also normal. In a world that is moving as fast as it could and wants to move faster, everything comes out faster than it should. Especially one's speech. Well outlawing it is a stretch, but we can personally outlaw it from our personal lives. Learning to live with it might sound like an advice, but at least as long as one is aware of the limitations applied on oneself and on others, that's a good start. Negative reinforcements can be comfortably countered with neutral and/or positive reinforcements. Try. Good luck.

Kayzhee


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